You can do better. It started one night when we realized that we were both pining over the respective guys that we were seeing (or maybe more accurately, trying to see) and evaluating our own behavior towards them, asking what we could have, should have, would have done differently.
Then we realized that we could have, should have, would have done nothing. If the way these men were treating us was making us unhappy, then why should we be questioning ourselves? And "You can do better" was born.
We realized that if someone's behavior is a source of unhappiness or discontent, then not only would we be unable to change the person to make us happier, but it wouldn't even be worth the effort! So we made a list of everything that made us unhappy, everything that we should not allow ourselves to settle for, and said that if someone we were seeing belonged on the list, then we could do better. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's heartbreaking, but it's always true. And once it was written down, it was like a big dose of reality and empowerment rolled into one.
The purpose of "You can do better" is not to set impossible standards or refuse to compromise. "You can do better" is about not compromising respect and fulfillment. It doesn't matter if he's into you or not, but if he can't pull it together for you, then you can do better!
If his response to "I'm thinking about going to grad school" is "You're just going to waste a lot of money," then you can do better!
If you mention that you are currently reading a Jane Austen novel and he asks "didn't she write the one about the Gorillas?", then you can do better!
If when you invite him to hang out and he doesn't show up, your primary feeling is relief, then you can do better!
If you two have a song, but it's Bob Dylan's "It Ain't Me Babe," then you can do better!
If when meeting your parents for the first time he describes his relationship with you as "friends with benefits," then you can do better!
If he falls asleep before he removes the condom, then you can do better!
If he refers to your mother as "it," then you can do better!
If his definition of foreplay is watching twenty minutes of porn, then you can do better!
If the morning he's gone and you notice he left a one hundred dollar bill on the nightstand, then you can do better!
If during your relationship you've faked more orgasms than you've actually had, then you can do better!
If he leaves his trash on the theater floor and says it's the staff's job to pick it up, then you can do better!
If during every conversation, you feel like he's speaking at you instead of with you, then you can do better!
If he doesn't call you back until several weeks after your first date (and he hasn't, say, gone on vacation or fallen off the face of the earth), then you can do better!
If he asks you out but neglects to mention the ring on his finger, then you (and she) can do better!
If one (not even mean) email from him sends you into a tailspin where you feel like you'll never meet anyone else or have a job you love or find meaning in your life, then you can do better!
If he left his wife and kids for you, and he doesn't have a job, then you can do better!
If he broke up with another girl to be with you because he "always wanted to see what it would be like with someone skinny and blonde," then you can do better!
If he thinks it's okay to break up with you every summer so he can have some "seasonal fun," then you can do better!
If during break-up sex he pulls back at the last minute and says he can't finish unless you get back together, then you can do better!
If he tries to impregnate you without your knowledge, then you can do better!
If he tells you there's no point in using a condom because he has "special" sperm that will get through anyway, then you can do better!
If he tells you to take your glasses off, and then says that you look better with them on, then you can do better!
If he randomly sends you an email two years after you broke off your engagement to tell you that he's not over you, then you can do better!
If he wants to play strip poker with only you and your best friend, then you can do better!
If he makes "time of the month" jokes more often than it could be that time of the month (or at all), then you can do better!
If he makes jokes, but freaks out when you're actually having your period, then you can do better!
If he gives you a speech about not wanting a relationship over a month after the last time you hooked up and when you've said nothing about wanting to date him, then you can do better!
If you can't remember to contact him, then you can (both) do better!
If at the end of a date, you're thinking "please don't kiss me!", then you can do better!
If he kicks you out of his house just after sunrise because he has to meet with his probation officer, then you can do better!
If you meet him at his arraignment, then you can do better!
If he has a pregnant wife but still makes a move on you, then you can do better!
If he still won't introduce you to his parents after two years of dating, then you can do better!
We are so excited that Maura Kelly posted about us in the blog she writes for Marie Claire Living Flirtatiously! Read what she said about us here. She did a great job summarizing what we're about and picked great entries to share with her readers (although we really do love them all equally).

Thanks to everyone who has contributed thus far!

If you haven't yet, now (or whenever you feel like it) is the time!
If you say it's time for you to go home while you're making out with him (for only the second time) and he responds "It's ok. We'll pretend this never happened!", then you can do better!
If you find his name on a registered sex-offender database and all he can think of to say in response is "who told you about that?", then you can do better!
If he introduces you to his obscure indie music collection by asking you if you've heard of each band in succession and then forcing you to read the liner notes, then you can do better!
If he self-identifies as an "artist" but doesn't create art, then you can do better!
If he self-identifies as a "writer" but doesn't write anything, then you can do better!
If he spends two months convincing you that you should move in together, then backs out a week before you have to sign the lease, then you can do better!
If all his friends are women, but none of them are actually his friends, then you can do better!
If he once made a girl lick the condom dry to make up for the fact that she insisted on using one, then you can do better!
If a girl does his homework for him, then you can do better!
If he trash talks the girl does his homework for him, then you can do better!
If you only hang out with him because his apartment is conveniently located, then you can do better!
If he buys you a really fancy expensive dinner and then uses the expense as leverage to get you to put out, then you can do better!
If he won't hold your hand, then you can do better!
If you don't want to hold his hand, then you can do better!
If he wants to sleep with everyone and everything in his life, including the dog, then you can do better!
If he comes back to you for attention between break ups with his ex-girlfriend, then you can do better!
If he tells you that he needs to have lots of sex but can't have a relationship because he wants to focus on "his career," then you can do better!
If she knows you like her, but insists on flirting with you and removing her own and your clothes, even though she has no interest in being with you, then you can do better!
If your best friend's eleven year old brother thinks you could do so much better, then you can do better!
If he was horrible to the last girl he really liked because his family didn't like her religion, then you can do better!
If he tries to get you into his pornographic anime, then you can do better!
If he can't tell you the truth about very basic things like what time he went to bed the night before, then you can do better!
If he can't manage to say anything nice about your outfit, then you can do better!
If you're too sick to move and ask her to pick up tissues for you on the way back from class and neither the store nor your room is out of her way, but you still have to call your best friend two hours later to do it instead, then you can do better!
If she tells you about how she went up and hooked up with three guys to "see if she still likes men" right before asking you out, then you can do better!
If you are BOTH rebounding, then you (both) can do better.
If he decides to stay an extra day at his parents' house instead of coming to be with you during a pregnancy scare, then you can do better!
If he nearly blows up your parents' house trying to make you a cup of tea, then you can do better!
If he forces you to touch him in ways that make you uncomfortable, even if you've very clearly moved your hand away, then you can do better!
If he doesn't understand that no means NO, then you can do better!!!
If he says you can't do better, then you can do better!
If he takes pride in cheating and/or slacking off at school and/or work, then you can do better!
If all of his favorite books happen to be on the required reading list for business majors at your university, then you can do better!
If he reads the website Askmen.com, then you can do better!
If he blatantly lies about his height/weight/income/age on an internet dating website, then you can do better!
If he doesn't want to be seen in public with you, then you can do better!
If he tells you he likes you and then hooks up with someone else, then you can do better!
If you find out he was hooking up with you while he had a girlfriend, then you can do better!
If he still gets wasted and does hard drugs often in his mid-thirties, then you can do better!
If he tells you that he's poly amorous and can maintain many relationships at once, then you can do better!
If he checks out other girls in front of you and tells you which ones he likes, because they look like his ex, then you can do better!
If he pressured you into being in a relationship with an ultimatum, then you can do better!
If he thinks a handgun he bought at the pawn shop is a good idea for a wedding gift, then you can do better!
If his parents have him arrested, then you can do better!
If you have an order of protection against him, then you can do better!
If it's hard not to laugh during foreplay, then you can do better!
If he takes you out on Valentine's day and asks if he can date your best friend, then you can do better!
If he describes to you his "perfect woman" and she is your complete opposite, then you can do better!
If he says he doesn't want a relationship and then asks if you know anyone you can set him up with, then you can do better!
If he causes you to give up on dreams, then you can do better!
If you break promises to yourself because of him, then you can do better!
If he talks to his ex on the phone for hours while he's hanging out with you, then you can do better!
If you are afraid to call him because he's "running out of minutes," but he spends hours talking to his ex on the phone while he is hanging out with you, then you can do better!
If he makes you pay him fifteen dollars for the three texts you sent him, and follows that by not contacting you for a week, then you can do better!
If he makes you pay for his gas when you are also financially limited, then you can do better!
If he believes that you have to have excessive amounts of money to have fun, then you can do better!
If he believes that you need excessive amounts of alcohol to have fun, then you can do better!
If he complains to you that he hasn't had any fun in the last few weeks, and in the last few weeks most of his free time has been spent with you, then you can do better!
If his definition of spending "quality time" with you includes putting you to work cleaning his apartment and ironing/mending his clothes, then you can do better!
If he invites you for the weekend, gets black-out drunk and leaves with another girl, stranding you at a party where you know no one, then you can do better!
If he uses emotions to play people, then you can do better!
If he thinks that he's doing you a HUGE favor by making time to see you, then you can do better!
If he treats you with no respect but still believes that he's the best thing that's ever happened to you, then you can do better!
If he's dated all your friends, then you can do better!
If he's dated all of your friends, and they've warned you he's a shitty boyfriend, then you can do better!
If he constantly tells you how much he loves his ex, then you can do better!
If he always talks about how much his other friends matter to him, but not you, then you can do better!
If he only laughs at his own jokes, then you can do better!
If he's the only one who laughs at his own jokes, then you can do better!
If all of your friends think that he is the biggest douchebag they have ever met, then you can do better!
If he was born and raised in the United States but can't spell and uses the grammar of a third grader, then you can do better!
If he starts dating someone new before he has broken up with you, then you can do better!
If at 1 o'clock in the morning when you really want to be sleeping, he forces you to watch Terminator 2, which you both have seen dozens of times, then you can do better!
If he moans every time Megan Fox appears on the TV, then you can do better!
If he tells you he wants to be with you before he's broken up with his current girlfriend, then you can do better!
If he ignores you for two full weeks and has no explanation, then you can do better!
If he questions your commitment after you've been "dating" for 9 months, then you can do better!
If you're in a relationship, but he won't acknowledge that it's a relationship, then you can do better!
If he says "I don't want a relationship, but if you keep coming around, then maybe I'll get used to the idea of having a girlfriend," then you can do better!
If he always changes plans on you at very last minute, then you can do better!
If he can't understand why you're upset that he always changes plans on you at the very last minute, then you can do better!
If he invites you over to his house and leaves you there to go to the bars with all of his guy friends, then you can do better!
If after every time you have sex he says "we really shouldn't do that anymore," then you can do better!
If he says he'll tell his ex about you, and keeps you a secret anyway, then you can do better!
If he takes you to a shitty party and then leaves you to go to a strip club, then you can do better!
If his favorite book is still The Catcher in the Rye, then you can do better!
If he gives you an "I don't want a relationship" talk over a month after the last time you hooked up, then you can do better!
If while you are making out, he asks if you want to go upstairs and "do stuff," then you can do better!
If you only think he's hot when he's wearing hipster glasses, then you can do better!
If he feeds you an entire bottle of wine the first night that you sleep together, then you can do better!
If he hooks up with you even though you're too drunk to find your own apartment building, then you can do better!
If when he gives you his phone number, he writes "The Bastard" under his name, then you can do better!
If he tells people (falsely) that he's done hard drugs in order to appear cooler, then you can do better!
If he has a large (or even small) collection of illegal weapons, then you can do better!
If he forgets your birthday, then you can do better!
If someone addresses him as "Rape-o," then you can do better!
If he writes a poem entitled "Running" the first line of which is "Do you ever feel like you're running?", then you can do better!
If you can out-argue him about Milton's Paradise Lost, when he's read the text and all the commentary and you've only read the text, then you can do better!
If you say I love you because she said it first but immediately have
the urge to take it back, then you can do better!
If he constantly flirts with you but doesn’t understand why you have
the idea that he likes you, then you can do better!
If you feel dirty after sleeping with him, then you can do better!
If you feel dirty after sleeping with her, then you can do better!
If he suddenly stops talking to you, then you can do better!
If he gave you an STD, then you can do better!
If you ever worry that he gave you an STD, then you can do better!
If all your friends say you could catch an STD from him, then you can do better!
If she unfriends you on facebook after breaking up with you, then you can do better!
If you are quickly replaced, then you can do better!
If he is freaked out by the amount of innuendo you can drop into conversation, then you can do better!
If he doesn’t understand why you are uncomfortable becoming the other woman in his open marriage (even if his wife approves), then you can do better!
If he does not kiss you good night after your second date, even though
you were making out earlier in the day, then you can do better!
If she loves you when you are carefree but cannot deal with you at
your lowest point, then you can do better!
If he doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, then you can do better!
If she makes you feel like her point of view and religion is better than yours, then you can do better!
If he says you never officially dated because you are “not the kind of
girl you take home to mom,” then you can do better!
If he posts his reaction to your break-up in any sort of online status message, then you can do better!
If he goes to Wisconsin and comes back with a British accent, then you can do better!
If you find yourself listening to Patsy Cline's "Someday" when you think about him, then you can do better!