You can do better. It started one night when we realized that we were both pining over the respective guys that we were seeing (or maybe more accurately, trying to see) and evaluating our own behavior towards them, asking what we could have, should have, would have done differently.
Then we realized that we could have, should have, would have done nothing. If the way these men were treating us was making us unhappy, then why should we be questioning ourselves? And "You can do better" was born.
We realized that if someone's behavior is a source of unhappiness or discontent, then not only would we be unable to change the person to make us happier, but it wouldn't even be worth the effort! So we made a list of everything that made us unhappy, everything that we should not allow ourselves to settle for, and said that if someone we were seeing belonged on the list, then we could do better. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's heartbreaking, but it's always true. And once it was written down, it was like a big dose of reality and empowerment rolled into one.
The purpose of "You can do better" is not to set impossible standards or refuse to compromise. "You can do better" is about not compromising respect and fulfillment. It doesn't matter if he's into you or not, but if he can't pull it together for you, then you can do better!
Then we realized that we could have, should have, would have done nothing. If the way these men were treating us was making us unhappy, then why should we be questioning ourselves? And "You can do better" was born.
We realized that if someone's behavior is a source of unhappiness or discontent, then not only would we be unable to change the person to make us happier, but it wouldn't even be worth the effort! So we made a list of everything that made us unhappy, everything that we should not allow ourselves to settle for, and said that if someone we were seeing belonged on the list, then we could do better. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's heartbreaking, but it's always true. And once it was written down, it was like a big dose of reality and empowerment rolled into one.
The purpose of "You can do better" is not to set impossible standards or refuse to compromise. "You can do better" is about not compromising respect and fulfillment. It doesn't matter if he's into you or not, but if he can't pull it together for you, then you can do better!
If he normally does not have facial hair but shows up to break up with you sporting a mustache (something that looks like this: http://www.virginmedia.com/sport/galleries/famous-moustaches.php?ssid=3), then you can do better!
We are so excited that Maura Kelly posted about us in the blog she writes for Marie Claire Living Flirtatiously! Read what she said about us here. She did a great job summarizing what we're about and picked great entries to share with her readers (although we really do love them all equally).
Thanks to everyone who has contributed thus far!
If you haven't yet, now (or whenever you feel like it) is the time!
Thanks to everyone who has contributed thus far!
If you haven't yet, now (or whenever you feel like it) is the time!
If he has a long and douchey conversation with his friend in your presence about why marriage is obsolete, and when you finally give up trying to contribute (which you can't anyways because they're ignoring you) because the conversation is so cliché, he apologizes to you because it's "grad-level," then you can do better!
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